My Little Writing Project
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Chapter Twenty One
‘Breaking
a friendship’s sacred code – Sharing a secret you swore you will never do.’
25th
September
The past ten days had passed in a blur. Mukti had locked herself in
her house, had put her phone on silent and had even asked Veer to hide the
modem to avoid temptation. She just wanted to complete the novel before the
deadline. She worked on the novel tirelessly and, to her own amazement,
finished it in a week. She was herself surprised how all the loose end just
came together. The next couple of days were spent in editing. She was quite
proud of herself actually. There were still two more days to go and was done
with the writing part, the only thing left was to read it again and fine tune
some bits. That night to celebrate, Veer took her out to Mainland China in GK
II. They were seated at a corner table waiting for their food to come.
“When will you move in? I think after you submit the novel, then
you would have some free time, right?”
Mukti had a sip of her water and decided to pester Veer a bit, “I
think I will only move in with you if I manage to get a book deal.” They were
laughing and joking with each other, when Veer held Mukti’s hand and pointed in
the distance, “hey, isn’t that your friend’s boyfriend Shantanu?”
Mukti looked to where he was pointing, “My friends or their
ex-boyfriends do have the tendency of landing up whenever we are out for…” she
stopped short. She was shocked to see him walk holding her hand.
“His fiancĂ© looks different. Very stylish in fact. It seems she has
had a complete makeover.” Veer said sipping his drink.
“No, that’s not Shivani. That’s Priya. She is with Shantanu.” She
said, confused.
“yeah right. Wait, what is she doing with Shantanu, I thought they
decided to call it quits.”
“I thought so too.”
“you didn’t know about this.”
Mukti turned towards Veer, “look at my face. Does it look that I
knew about this?”
“Do you want to go and talk to her?”
“No. I don’t. not right now.” She sat up straight and picked up the
menu card.
I can’t believe she would blatantly lie to me!
They ate their dinner in silence. Mukti saw from the corner of her
eye, Priya and Shantanu holding hands and laughing together. Mukti decided then
and there not to confront Priya.
If she wants to tell me, she
will. I am not going to ask her. Not now, not ever. I also want to see till
when she can hide it.
Mukti didn’t know it yet but Priya had been hiding it for long time
. . . Since the day she had come and told Mukti and Sonali that she had slept
with him for the last time. Priya had never stopped seeing him; she had just
stopped talking to them about him. Shantanu had not taken a transfer either. He
was still her boss. Shivani had gone back and they had resumed from where they
left off. Priya had once again forgotten, very conveniently, that Shivani
existed. Everything was going fine but deep down inside, Priya was feeling
guilty for keeping a secret from Mukti.
When Mukti and Veer were leaving the restaurant, Priya saw them as
well. She ducked under the table pretending to pick up the napkin that fell
from her lap. She was not ready for a confrontation yet. She needed time to
prepare herself for the argument that she knew was inevitable.
***
27th
September
Maybe it was the fear that Mukti had seen her already or maybe she
was genuinely guilty for hiding something so important from her best friend . .
. whatever the reason, it was strong enough for Priya to go and meet Mukti with
the resolve to tell her the truth.
When she went there, Mukti was immersed in her novel. She had
papers lying all around. She had a pen in her mouth and she was reading with
great concentration. Priya could see Mukti’s eyes darting across the page. She
kept staring at her for five minutes. When Mukti gave no sign of looking up and
acknowledging her presence, Priya cleared her throat. Mukti looked like she was
seeing Priya for the first time.
What the hell? I need to
clear the papers! Priya can’t see them right now.
“How did you get inside?” Mukti said shuffling the papers together.
“I have an extra key, remember.” Priya said entering.
“oh . . . yeah. Why are you standing, come, sit down.” Mukti said
putting the papers aside, “how have you been?”
“I’ve been fine.” Priya said picking up a paper and reading it, “Is
this your novel?”
“Yeah.” Mukti said taking the paper from her hands.
“I can’t believe you have written a whole novel.” She looked up and
Mukti noted that Priya was smiling.
“I can’t believe it too.” Mukti said.
“I can’t believe I haven’t even read a single line of it!” Priya
looked up at Mukti, this time she wasn’t smiling.
“You have been busy.”
“I can’t believe I don’t even know what your novel is about?”
“as I said, you have been busy.” Mukti got up and started walking
towards the kitchen, “I am making coffee, you want some?”
“Yeah. Okay.”
While Mukti was in the kitchen, Priya picked up a couple of random
papers lying under the dresser that misses Mukti’s eye and started reading
them.
“I don’t
want to go.” Krishna wailed.
“It’s
Mumbai! How can you not go? I wish I could go in your place.” Devyani said.
“But I
won’t know anyone. You know how difficult it is for me to make friends.” a tear
gleamed on Krishna’s walnut-coloured cheek.
“You
will make friends. Trust me. You will have so much fun that you’ll forget all
about me.” Devyani pouted.
“That’s
not possible. You are my best friend. I’ll never forget you.” Krishna hugged
Devyani and the two girls stayed locked in each other’s embrace for a long
time.
Priya smiled and turned to read another page.
“Devyani,
I think I am in love.” Krishna gushed into the receiver. She was sitting in her
hostel bed with massive books opened in front of her. she had a much-chewed pen
in her mouth. The whole room was in a mess covered with books, dirty laundry,
pizza boxes, and a massive heap of tea cups.
“what?!
You have been there for only six months and you are already in love?! By the
way I know who it is!” Devyani teased her best friend. She was lounging on her
couch with a novel in her hand.
Krishna
just giggled.
“It is
Shekhar, right?” Devyani asked.
“How did
you know?”
“Since
you have landed in the hostel, he is the only one you talk about. Shekhar this
and Shekhar that. It was not hard to guess.”
Krishna
lie down on her bed and sighed deeply, “it feels so great to be loved. You know
Shekhar is so charming! He takes such good care of me. I feel so blessed to
have someone like him in my life.”
“I am
very happy for you.” Devyani smiled picturing her friend walking hand in hand
with the guy she loved into the moonlight.
Something stirred in Priya’s mind.
This
conversation seems oddly familiar.
She hastily picked up another paper from the
floor and started reading it.
“What is
the matter Krishna? Why don’t you take my calls? You didn’t even tell me that
you were coming back!” Devyani plopped on Krishna’s bed where she was lying
with a sheet covering her face. Devyani shook Krishna, “What is the matter? Did
you have a fight with Shekhar?”
Devyani
heard Krishna sobbing. “Kris are you crying?” she went ahead and dragged the
sheet off her sobbing friend. Krishna was indeed crying. Her eyes were red and
swollen. She had a deep gash on one side of her face. Her lip was swelled up as
well and had a cut on one side.
“What
happened to you?” Devyani asked worried.
“I fell.”
Krishna said looking away.
“No, you
did not. Tell me what happened?” Devyani looked Krishna over. She saw that she
had marks all over her arms as well. “Has your mom seen this?”
She just
nodded her head.
“She
believed that you fell?”
Krishna
again nodded her head.
Devyani
sighed and made Krishna face her, “Who did this to you?”
“No one.”
Krishna mumbled.
“Was it
Shekhar?”
Krishna
shook her head but her eyes unwittingly filled with tears.
“I know
it’s him. he hits you right? I knew it! Even though you disagreed, I knew what
I heard was the sound of a slap. I knew that you were lying when you told me
that you are stressed because of the course. It was all him all along, right?
He beats you?”
Krishna
got up from her bed and held Devyani’s hands, “You can’t tell anyone. Please.
You can’t tell my parents.”
“What?!
What are you saying?” Devyani said irritably.
“Devyani, he is trying to change. He has promised that he will not hit me ever again.”
“Devyani, he is trying to change. He has promised that he will not hit me ever again.”
“Are you
crazy Krishna? Look at you! You are bruised all over and you are still
defending him? you should file a complaint against him. wait; let me tell your
parents.”
Krishna
held her hand and made her stop. She looked at her with pleading eyes, “Devyani,
he is the first guy who has ever shown any interest in me. I can’t drive him
away.”
Devyani
was getting agitated, “Do you hear yourself? Are you crazy? So, what? You will
continue to get battered so that he doesn’t leave you?”
“He
promised me he will change.”
As Priya
continued to read, her eyes opened wide.
No, she didn’t!
She
hurriedly picked up another page from the pile.
“What
the hell is that now?” Devyani asked Krishna, “I know that you didn’t burn
yourself while ironing. I know that’s a cigarette burn.”
Krishna
continued to evade any questions regarding Shekhar until Devyani threatened to
tell her parents. Finally Krishna broke down and narrated the entire story
between sobs.
“Everything
was going great in the beginning. I was so happy; it felt as if I was floating
on air. He made me feel so special. Then one day while working on a project, he
fell asleep in my room. The next morning when we woke up, he suggested that he
doesn’t want to leave.” Krishna looked at Devyani with a sheepish grin, “I also
didn’t want him to leave and we started living together.”
Devyani
raised her eyebrows but decided to not interrupt Krishna.
“I was
so happy, waking up seeing his face and going to bed with his protective arm
around me. But, then after a while things started going wrong.”
“Why
what happened?” Devyani asked hoping it was not what she thinking.
“We
slept together.” Krishna almost whispered.
“What?!”
Devyani was stunned. Her sweet innocent friend who, till Shekhar came along,
had never even had a boyfriend had already slept with someone.
“I didn’t
want to Devyani, I swear I didn’t. But he said that if I loved him, I would not
stop him. I wanted to prove my love for him so I let him.”
“Oh God!”
Mukti just sighed.
“It was
so painful. I asked him to stop but he kept insisting that I’ll start enjoying
soon. But I didn’t, I was so sore the next day that I couldn’t even walk
properly.” Krishna was sobbing.
“Did you
have sex with him again?” Devyani asked.
Krishna
nodded and added hurriedly, “He hit me if I didn’t. But afterwards, he would
apologize profusely and vowed to never do that again. He would promise every
time that he will never force himself on me but he didn’t keep his word.”
Krishna
wiped her tears, “slowly he became so possessive. Even if I talked to someone
else, he’d get angry. You remember that day when I had come with a swollen eye;
he had knocked me out with a punch because I had refused to sleep with him.”
“Kris
you need to tell the authorities. You need to tell your parents.”
Krishna
begged her to not to out her secret, “I only have him, I can’t lose him. I just
can’t lose him. I love him, Devyani and I can’t live without him. He loves me
too; it’s just that sometimes he loses his patience. He says he is working on
it, but—“
Devyani’s
eyes filled with tears looking at her smart and intelligent friend beseeching
her to keep her secret. She hugged her tightly and promised to not tell anyone.
The more she read, the more furious Priya got. Angry tears welled
up in her eyes. The resemblance was uncanny. She was Krishna and Shekhar was
Mudit, her college boyfriend. Mukti had written about her past. She had written
about Priya’s ordeal, what all she gone through at the hands of Mudit. She was
going to divulge her secret. Priya’s hands were shaking with rage and betrayal.
How could you, Mukti? How
could you? I trusted you. You promised. I can’t believe you would turn my life
into a manuscript!
Another page flapped up against her leg and she picked it up to
read as well.
Krishna was standing outside Devyani’s house. Her hair was
hanging flaccidly covering her face. She was tensely fumbling with her shirt
but her eyes looked straight at Devyani, unwavering. She muttered calmly, “I
have punished him for what he did to me.”
These words transported Priya
back to a cool December night when she was the one standing outside Mukti’s
house shaking with nervous excitement. Like Krishna, she was also in a
dishevelled state. Her hair were hanging loose and flapping in the cold winter
air. She was anxiously playing with a loose end of her dupatta. In spite of the
nip in the air, Priya was breaking out in a cold sweat. She couldn’t believe
her plan had worked. All those weeks of planning had finally come through. She
rang the bell twice. Finally Mukti came out.
“I have done it. I have
punished Mudit. I have taken my revenge.” She said looking straight at Mukti
with her stony gaze.
Mukti motioned her to keep
quiet and dragged her inside her room discreetly. Once indoors, Mukti sat Priya
down on her bed and asked her, “what do you mean you have punished him?”
“I have taken my revenge. He
is in jail.” She said. Mukti noticed that Priya was trying to be calm but she
had an edgy demeanour. She was tapping her foot restlessly and fumbling with
her dupatta.
Mukti placed a hand on hers,
“What? You finally filed a FIR?”
Priya first glanced down at
their hands placed on each other’s and then looked up at Mukti’s concerned
face, “No. I did something better.”
“What did you do Priya? Just
tell me already.” Mukti was getting panicked.
“I convinced him to steal our
final exams question papers and then sent an anonymous tip to the Dean. They
searched his hostel room and found the papers. He got arrested. He is in jail
now. He might be locked up for seven years.” Priya said without a pause. Mukti
saw panic flash through Priya’s eyes. Her jaw fell down with shock. Her head
was buzzing with numerous questions.
“Didn’t he say that you were
with him? How did you steal the papers?”Mukti asked. She had trouble believing
that her friend was capable of something like that. “Explain in detail please.”
“I was fed up Mukti!” Priya
said getting up from the bed and pacing the room, “I was sick and tired of the
constant torture. He used to come up and demand sex whenever he pleased like it
and if I refused he would beat the shit out of me!”
A silent tear trickled down
her cheek, “Then one day, he brought some friend over and insisted I ‘service’
him.” she said with aversion.
Mukti’s eyes opened wide, “he
did what?”
Priya’s head hung with shame.
Mukti went and hugged her friend tightly.
Priya continued, “Since that
day I was thinking of extracting revenge. I was lying low taking all his bull
shit just waiting for an opportunity. Then, one day I heard the peons talking
behind the cafeteria, about how the question papers would be locked up in the
dean’s office two days before the exams. That’s when I hatched this plan.”
There was an odd gleam in Priya’s eyes that scared Mukti. She had never seen
this side of Priya. This facet of Priya’s personality was hidden deep below the
surface that came to the forefront only when she was backed up against the
wall.
Mukti urged Priya to
continue, “But, how did you steal the key? What did you tell Mudit to persuade
him to do this? Why didn’t he tell the authorities that you were also
involved?”
Priya looked back at Mukti,
“I decided to use Mudit’s character traits against him. He was always taunting
me that I was a topper and didn’t have to study much, so when I heard the peons
talking, I went and told him that he could be a topper too. Mukti, he had such
desire to succeed that he didn’t even flinch when I told him that it would
involve stealing the question papers.”
Priya sat down on the bed
with a faraway look on her face, “The next day, he sat down with the peons for
a drink. He was always a sweet-talker. He won-over the peons with his
honey-laden words. They fell into his trap. The alcohol worked as a charm as
well. Soon, they were dishing out all the staff gossip. After just one bottle,
they told Mudit where the spare key to the Dean’s office is.”
“Didn’t they tell the police
that you were an accomplice too?”
“Mudit is his own worst
enemy. It was so easy to trick him. I pretended to take the lead but he
couldn’t have that. I knew he wouldn’t let me be the leader. And as I told you
he was getting increasing possessive, he didn’t want me to come in front of the
lecherous drunk peons. They had no idea I was hiding behind. It worked out
perfectly for me.”
Mukti was getting increasingly
worried, and a little proud, of Priya’s conniving side, “Where was the spare
key?”
“It was in the staff room.
The next day, when the staff room was relatively empty we entered making some
excuse. While I distracted the lone teacher, Mudit made the impression of the
key on soap.” She paused, “That was also my idea. I was the innocent student
clearing my doubts before an exam while Mudit was a student lounging around the
staff room. Plus the idiot didn’t even wear gloves so the spare key had his prints.”
Priya gave Mukti a small smile.
“The next part was easy. That
night we sneaked into the dean’s office while the guard snored peacefully. We
stole the papers that were stacked neatly in the closet, made copies from the
dean’s copier. We placed the originals back at their place and sneaked out.”
“What about CCTVs? All
hostels have them now!” Mukti was sure Priya would not have thought about that.
“The peons had told us that
the CCTV in the dean’s corridor had not been working for a while now.” Priya held
Mukti’s hands, “I am telling you Mukti, God was with me. he wanted me to do
this. I am still amazed that how it all went so smoothly.”
“Okay. So, you tipped the
dean later about the papers.” Priya nodded.
“Didn’t Mudit tell them that
you were with him the whole time?”
“No body believed him. I am a
topper Mukti. I don’t need the papers to pass, but Mudit did. Plus the peons
told them that it was only Mudit who had come up to them with alcohol. The
teacher also testified that she had seen Mudit lounging around in the staff
room where the key is kept.” Priya said.
Mukti racked her brain to ask
her something else but she had no more doubts. She hadn’t till now, but after
clearing all her doubts, she couldn’t stop herself from smiling broadly. “So,
he is really in jail?”
“Yes. He is.” Priya was
smiling too.
“But why didn’t you just tell
the police that he was sexually abusing you?”
“Because,” Priya paused,
“that would kill my parents. In our country, one way or the other, it is always
the woman’s fault. If the news came out that I was sexually abused, somehow, I
know it will all be labelled as my fault. I would be branded as characterless
and what not. Instead of the victim, I’ll be written off as a desperate woman
who was asking for it. I can’t let my parents go through it.”
She was pacing Mukti’s room.
“ I knew I wanted to punish Mudit but I didn’t want the world to know what he
is being punished for. I am sure he has understood by now for what crime he is
behind bars.” Her eyes filled with tears again as the months of abuse flashed
by her mind.
Priya hugged her friend, “You
did the right thing. But, what if the truth comes out that you were behind it
all? It’ll be a black mark on your life forever.” Mukti said kindly, concerned
for her friend’s well being.
“That is why you have to
promise me, you’ll never tell anyone. It is our secret. I don’t want anyone to
know that I was raped. I don’t want anyone to find out that I was the
mastermind behind Mudit’s imprisonment. I just want to forget about this
chapter and move on with my life.”
Priya was shaking. Her
forehead was covered with tiny beads of perspiration even in the chilly winter
air.
“I promise. My lips are
sealed forever.”
My lips are sealed forever.
The words echoed in Priya’s ears and tears came streaming down her
face. She was numb. Her arm fell limply to her side and the page flew out of
her hand. She didn’t even notice when Mukti offered her the cup.
“Priya?” Mukti shook her.
Instead of taking the mug, Priya stared acrimoniously at Mukti. The
look on Priya’s face made Mukti freeze on the spot. Priya’s eyes were filled
with anger, hurt and disappointment. At first Mukti, didn’t understand why
Priya looked so mortified, but then she saw the papers lying around Priya’s feet
and everything fell into place.
“Priya, I was about to tell you.” Mukti began.
“When? When it came out from the press?”
“no, before that. I was just . . .”
“you were just what, Mukti? You were just what?!” Priya was
yelling.
“Listen, sit. Calm down. Have some water.” Mukti put the coffee
mugs down and went close to Priya.
“Don’t touch me.” she jerked Mukti’s hands away from her, “ how
could you?”
“It’s not what you think. Read the whole novel, you will
understand.”
“What will I understand? That how you are using my life to become
famous? All this is just a story for you, right?! A scandalised account of a
poor ugly girl. Well, it happened to me!! the stuff with Mudit, that was
personal! And you have dished out every little detail for everyone to read and
pass judgement on! how can you be so insensitive?”
“How will they know it’s about you? It can be any girl?” Mukti
tried to calm Priya down.
“well, our friends will know that it’s about me! my family will
figure it out! How could you be so selfish!”
“I am not being selfish. I want the world to know that there are
jerks like him out there that will play on your emotions and hurt you. That’s
all. I am telling you, please read the whole thing before you get upset. It’s
not about you. It is a highly fictionalised account of what happened to you.”
“You did this before also with that blog post and now this! You
didn’t even tell me and wrote the whole damn thing! You were going to submit it
without telling me weren’t you?”
“No, I was not. I was going to tell you tonight.”
“I can’t believe you hid something this important from me!”
“well, I am not the only with secrets.” Mukti was getting angry
too.
“I know you saw me yesterday with Shantanu. That’s why I had come
here.”
“why would you go out with him again? Why? Why did you lie to me?”
“Because I was scared! Okay! I was scared that you will not
understand, that’s why I lied to you.”
“Priya, you are…”
Priya cut her off, “Don’t. don’t you say anything. I am not
interested to listen. After this,” she threw the paper on the floor, “save it.”
Priya started walking towards the door.
She turned with tears streaming down her face, “I just wish that
you will stop making an example out of my life. it’s been almost two decades
that we know each other, but you still don’t understand me.” with that she
walked out, leaving behind a stunned Mukti.
Mukti didn’t know what to do. she sat down on the floor.
What has happened to us? We
can’t even talk without fighting anymore!
She started crying. everything flashed in front of her eyes.
Since the time Shantanu has
come into the picture, everything has gone wrong.
She picked up her phone and dialled Veer, his phone was coming
busy. She tried him a couple of times, but every time it was busy.
God knows who he is talking
to.
Then, she dialled Sonali’s number.
“Hello, Sonali?”
“Yes.”
“I have to talk to you.” She said in between sobs.
“Why do you want to talk to me, I thought I was a bimbo?”
“What?!”
“Isn’t that what you think? Isn’t that what you have written in the
novel?” she said accusingly.
“Sonali, it’s not what you think. Priya has just read snippets.
These characters have been modelled on you guys but they are not completely
your personalities. You guys have much more to it than this.”
“Ok, but you still think I am a bimbo?”
“You are not. The character is. It’s a fictionalised account. The
only similarity between you and Snigdha is that you both are air-hostesses,
that’s it.”
“Mukti, I don’t know what to believe. Priya is with me. let us just
be. we’ll talk to you later. Bye.”
Mukti kept staring at the phone. How had everything turned into
such a mess. The novel, her dream, was breaking her friendships apart. all the
moments spent together with Priya and Sonali came in front of her eyes and she
started crying. she laid down on the floor and fell asleep amidst her own
tears.
***
Mukti woke up with a buzzed head. Her whole body was aching
especially her neck from sleeping on the floor. she got up and went to get a
glass of water. She looked at the time, it was three in the morning. She
checked her phone. One call and one message from Veer. None from Sonali or
Priya. She didn’t know what to do. in a couple of hours Nits will be expecting
that she send her manuscript. She decided to ask for some time.
But what if she doesn’t give
it? What if she says she doesn’t want it after ten am?
She thought about a while and made up mind to talk to Nits directly
instead of indulging in pointless speculation. She opened her laptop and typed
a quick mail to Nits apologizing and asking for an extension. Surprisingly she
got a reply.
Sweets, what is this? We are waiting for the manuscript? Why
this delay?
Mukti noticed it was sent from her iphone. She looked at the watch
again and called Nits.
“Hi Mukti. What happened? Saw your mail.”
“Nits, what are you doing awake at three in the morning?”
“You are also up but your voice tell me you are not having as much
fun as me.”
Mukti could hear soft music in the background.
“Nits, where are you? Can we talk?”
“Well, it is not a good time. Wait, Punit, I’ll join you in a sec.”
Mukti heard a giggle and then Nits was back, “Mukti, I have to go, someone is
waiting for me. when can you submit the novel?”
“I don’t know… another month.”
“A month is a long time.” She suddenly got serious. “Punit, I said
I’ll be back.” She said sternly. Mukti heard a door slam.
“Mukti, tell me what’s wrong. The last time we spoke your
manuscript was almost finished, right? What happened suddenly?”
Mukti told her the whole thing.
“See, this is your personal matter but I will suggest that you urge
your friends to read the whole novel and see for themselves that it’s not about
them. And to tell you the truth, you should have asked them before hand… Mukti,
please give me the novel only when you solve this thing. I don’t want any cases
afterwards. And I will tell Prakash to add another clause in your contract,
that if anyone sues the book for the characters and situations, you will handle
it. The publishing house has no relation with it. Well, that will happen only
when we decide to publish it, I am sure we’ll love it, by the way. Anyway, I hope that you will able to convince
your friends. I can’t give you a month, I will give you a fortnight. Tell me
after fifteen days, if you can submit it or not. Puni’s getting restless baby,
I will talk to you later. ciao”
Mukti was stunned. fifteen days?! Will she be able to convince
Priya and Sonali to let her publish? Will they sue her if she published?
I am sure they won’t sue me?
they are my friends!
She didn’t even realize when
she fell asleep while thinking of the novel and her friends.
Thanks for uploading. I was waiting for it since a long time.
ReplyDeleteLoved the chapter. :)