Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Love and some of it's many cliches!

Okay, now this post is about love and the many little clichés associated with it. Don’t get me wrong I am a true blue romantic! If you have been following my posts, you would know that! I have done my share of being stupid and a little crazy in love... well not as crazy as what people around me have been... but some little crazy things! For example leaving a perfect job and following my husband into the jungles of kerala. Yeah, done that.

Anyway, this post is not about my love life... but rather about love in general and what all it makes us poor mortals do!

So, let’s get started.

Number one on my list of ‘love cliches’ is - 'We fall in love only once.'
This statement or thought has been hugely popularized by our Desi movies. for example, do you remember Shah Rukh Khan in Kuch Kuch Hota Hai who very poignantly declared (not once but twice!) 'Hum ek baar jite hain, ek baar marte hain, shaadi bhi ek baar hoti hai, aur pyar....ek hi baar hota hai'

Applause?! I don't think so.

After declaring this what does he do in the end? do you remember? He very promptly... not only falls in love but marries twice! how convenient... wife dies, assigns his 'EIGHT' year old daughter to reunite the lovers and bam! let me get back with my childhood sweetheart who i had left for the hot girl! Many of you would allege that the dialogue was incorporated in the movie to show that there is no control over how you feel when you find that one true love! So that means Kajol was his true love and not Rani... his wife, the mother of his daughter?! What was that then?! Fake love?! You tell me...
anyway, the point is you can fall in love 'n' number of times and in reality that's what this movie showed! but do we remember that? no, all we remember is the dialogue and follow it religiously!

Another cliché – 'your first love is always special and that is why you can never forget that person. in fact you always, deep-down-inside, love him.

Hmm... now i personally don't believe in first love, second love, third love and so on. love is love, right?! I mean if first love is special, then second love is less special? What about third love...? is it least special?
Now, I agree with the first part - first love is always special... but that is irrespective of the person you fall in love with. (yes, that's right! more often than not in the future after your first love has abandoned you and left you heartbroken, you look back at that person you fell heads-over-heels in love with and wonder... why?! Why did you choose him? what was so special in him?!) For me, first love is special because that's the first time we feel what's it like to be in love... we realize that love sure makes the world go round! It makes you see everything with rose-tinted glasses. You are floating on air, you want to look good for the other person, you experience jealousy if he talks to anyone else but you, you become anxious, you wait endlessly for that one call, one message and in today's age, one friend request from that someone special...

So that feeling is special and by extension that person because he/ she made you feel all that. He introduced you to love and not because of some deep-down-you-still-love-him-and-always-will shit! I mean think about it, if you still love him and he still loves you why are you not together?! you are not together because something went wrong... this could be because of situations that are out of your control, you might say. if it is indeed true love... situations and circumstances don't matter. if someone wants to be with you, they would make it happen and if they can't make it happen, then that love is not strong enough... it's not that special!

Next. Now this one is not very popular. I doubt you wont even have heard of it. it goes something like this - "we always our first love is our last and our last love, our first."

I had heard this line some years back (don't remember who said it and to whom, where it was said and in what context) but i still remember it, don't know why.

(you might have seen this as my facebook page’s status also... that is if you follow my facebook page. oh you don't? then you can just click on this link -> The Grey Area  and like the page. simple ain't it?)

okay, now that i have shamelessly promoted myself (yeah i am a little shameless that ways, so sue me!) let's get back to the post... When I first heard it I didn't understand it much, can't claim to understand it fully now also but I think I have got a notion... when we fall in love for the first time, we believe that this is it. this is going to last till the end of time. the one in our arms right now would be the one in our arms forever. but how wrong are we! more often than not, the first love is not the last love... not even close! (Barring those lucky few whose first love does turn into their last love... now are they lucky or unlucky that's for them to decide ;) ) anyway, coming back to the point...  when this illusion that we fall in love only once breaks (trust me it does break!) and we go through many many heartaches, we finally find someone with whom we want to spend the rest of our lives with... that someone who is there for us through thick and thin ( i mean both changing time and waist sizes!) ... and when we find that 'someone' we tend to realize that this is love and all that we felt before was nothing compared to what we are feeling now... we realize this indeed is our first love and all that before was just hormones acting out! how easy it becomes to belittle those very emotions that at that time had made our world go round! Love sure makes us crazy!

Last but not the least – Love is blind.

Why?! why does love has to be blind? You should fall in love with your eyes wide open! You should know what you are getting into! And who you are getting into it with! I have come across many people who follow this adage and quote it to justify their sometimes stupid and sometimes pretty irresponsible decisions! I know people who get inked or leave their jobs or leave their family for the love of their lives! i know of teenagers who have started calling their boyfriends’ mother as their mother in law, who only choose a certain subject because their lover has them as well, who are ready to spend the last penny of their pocket money on phone bills, who lie to their parents through their teeth... is that right? well... to each his own!

but the point is how many of us end up with that person? unfortunately (or fortunately) not many... we grow up and the emotions die down and that love turns into anger, hate and slowly that order.

Now, I am not saying that you shouldn't fall in love or am against being in love and doing crazy things for the one you love... i am a full supporter of it. but I am just saying that love should not be blind or deaf or mute or crazy for that matter... i know people who say that if love is logical it is not love... why? why can't you be practical and be in love at the same time? does being an emotional fool a pre-requisite of being in love? not for me!

 And oh, how can i forget... what's with love at first sight?! now how does that work? how can you fall in love with someone by just looking at them?! it doesn't look like love, it looks more like lust to me... lust is at first sight, love take time. you need to know the person, all his idiosyncrasies and stupidities and then if you still want to be with them... well that's love. i remember another line from a movie, 'I don't believe in love at first sight, i believe in taking a deeper look.'

So, people... in a gist... you don't fall in love once! the feeling of first love is special and not the person! first love is not your last and neither is last love your first! Love is not blind! and do take a deeper look before committing forever!

With that I end this post... hope you had fun.

Disclaimer: This post is meant for humorous purposes only. Any resemblance to emotions of real
persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. :P

P.S. if there is any other cliche you can think of... add it as a comment here or at the facebook page by the same name - The Grey Area (OK, OK I will stop promoting it! :P)

One of my friends Parul read this post and added a cliche... "if you love someone, let them free. if they are yours they will come back... if they don't they never were." or something to this effect.

now this is funny... love is not a trap! you don't put people in cages so you can't let them free! and if someone walks out of a relationship... it's because they want to end it. the only reason they will come back is that because someone out there made them realize how worthless they are! they are not coming back because they love you... they will come back because they can't find anyone else! so if you want to be with someone who broke your heart, went out with other people, got his own heart broken and then realized that he should be with you... it's your choice but I would say... if someone breaks your heart once, they can do it again. and like parul said... if they want to come back, why would they go?! stop living in dreams.


  1. Awesome! great work. Every word is true.

  2. good post..really funny...
    most of the ppl who FALL in love at first sight ends up thinking love is blind...because soon they realize that if they were not blind they would have never fallen in love in the first place...
    ppl who take time to understand each other so that they get enough time to like the bad side of each other only then they RISE in love....



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